Task 2 - Literary Text Type - short story

The Dakota Defense

This reads more like a factual recount rather than a literary narrative. It feels like you described the video as you were watching it, rather than engaging in a creative process. 

The structure is more or less logical. Some sentences are written in a very 'oral' way, that is to say, the way you might say them, rather than the way you should write them. I have highlighted the changes you need to make in red and the changes I made in orange. 

The weather is sunny and not a single cloud in view, it's so hot it's tiring just to breath. The landscape is a long and open grass field Its mid day and i am a tall slim man, i am strong and heavily equipped with a massive and beefy German Shepherd placed in North Dakota to stop protesters from destroying the project or placing it on a halt. We have bulldozers mining up the ground so it's ready for the pipeline that will be set here. 

However, there are dozens of protesters behind a fence protesting wanting to stop this project. Although there are constantly coming more people to join in on the protest, all of us security guards are struggling to keep them behind the fence and not to interfere. 

The protesters managed to cross the fence forcing the bulldozers to back off, but the protesters are trying to force me and the other guards back. We have dogs and pepper spray on the line holding back the protesters. As a solution to stop these protesters from pushing us back further, I have ordered my dog to attack and bite the protesters. A Native American got bit because of this, the Native Americans and the protesters came closer and closer until a guard pepper sprayed one of them in the face, leading to a guy going closer to me, as a reaction my dog jumped up and bit his arm leading him to back off. 

As a result of us using pepper spray and dogs against them, things are getting out of hand. They are getting more aggressive and they are trying to force us back out of their land. Because we have used dogs and pepper spray made them more scared of pushing us (this should be restructured), so that is giving us a chance to get back some control. There is a reporter who keeps asking lots of questions and filming all this, targeting us as the bad (what?).

It is starting to heat up here now,(should this be a full stop? If so, could the first sentence be more descriptive to create a better mental picture?) the protesters are yelling at us and at our dogs, forcing us to back off slowly. The protesters are starting to throw muck at us and screaming random words to go away. We can't hold out much longer and need to give up, we are holding our ground with our dogs and pepper spray still at the ready. We won't have much of a choice but to keep using our dogs and pepper spray if the protesters and Native Americans keep pushing us and forcing us.

We have been pushed over and we are forced to go back out of the area and go away. The project will have to wait for tomorrow before they get to continue. Let the protesters stop and settle down, and next time we can come more prepared, and ready up for another protest probably bigger than today.